Showing posts with label The Reserves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Reserves. Show all posts

Thursday, 20 August 2020

The gobby Captain who thinks he has special rights

Games 1-2, 2020-21

It's the first half of my first game for almost six months, and the away team's captain is yelling at me. He went in unnecessarily late after an opposing defender cleared the ball upfield, and as the pass went astray, I blew for a free-kick. I don't know why the captain's so mad at the call and I don't much care, but I tell him firmly that there's no point in dissent during my games. It should be a yellow, but it's a friendly and we've all been out of action for a long time so I leave it at a lecture. Call it Covid-related leniency.

 

Around 28 players take the field for tonight's game in all, and only one has a problem with my refereeing. In the second half, it's the mouthy captain again who complains at great length that a goal his team just conceded was "clearly offside" (it wasn't). As usual, his authoritative view of the play comes from the other half of the field. This time, I show him the yellow card and he can't believe it. He's the captain, for goodness sake. He's allowed to criticise the referee, and the referee has to be man enough to take criticism on board.

While writing his number down I tell him that the rules explicitly state the exact opposite - namely, that there's no special dispensation for the captain when it comes to poor behaviour on the field. This is underscored five minutes later when he goes in late on an opponent with a straight leg tackle. Second yellow and off, and his protests are even louder. My refereeing's laughable, I'm a joke, etc...

Friday, 22 March 2019

Anger, dissent and a mass brawl - another night out with the Reserves

Game 18, 2018-19

Nice smooth surface on a beautiful
spring night - we'll soon fuck that shit up.
Good news for pedlars of anger - supplies are still running high. There is absolutely no shortage.  In fact, anger levels seem to be going through the shattered glass skylight. As I wrote in my game report, "For the away team, I recommend an immediate and urgent course of fury control therapy." I'm absolutely sure they will take my advice.

A relegation battle in the League of ragged Reserves, football's abandoned grave-pit where you will find only the cluttered, dehydrated bones of the game's sporting values. Too old? Play in the Reserves. No discipline? We'll drop you down to the stiffs. No fucking use at all? We'll call you when we're short, on a Thursday night at the butt-end of another failed season...