When a player’s sailing close to a red card

Game 42, 2021-22

“You wanted to kick me out of the game, didn’t you?” That’s not a quote from my latest match, but it’s one I’ve heard before. In fact, it’s from El Arbitro, a slightly dated but nonetheless absorbing documentary you can watch on YouTube that follows the now retired Spanish referee Miguel Pérez Lasa as he officiates a pair of La Liga games at the tail-end of the 2007-08 season. The words are yelled at him by Villareal’s defender Joan Capdevila when Pérez shows him a second yellow card in the final minutes of a 2-0 defeat at Sevilla. 

Capdevila could not be further off the mark. Pérez Lasa explains in the documentary how “I like to use the captains to warn players when they have a yellow card and are close to getting another one.” As the players are preparing to come out for the second half, the referee can be heard telling Sevilla’s captain Dani Alves to “calm [Federico] Fazio down”. The Argentine midfielder had already seen yellow and was looking like a candidate for dismissal. 

“A ref must know how to use the cards,” says Pérez Lasa. “You see the game heating up, so you have to calm the players down and let them know they have the wrong attitude.” Villarreal’s Capdevila first sees yellow in the 80th minute for a vehement, in-your-face protest about a penalty non-call. A few minutes later he’s lucky to avoid a second caution for sarcastic laughter and a dismissive gesture when Pérez Lasa awards Sevilla a penalty. And then he’s finally off for a blatant and deliberate handball in stoppage time that prevents a promising attack (Capdevila tries to claim it hit him on the knee). All unnecessary offences the player himself could easily have avoided, and nothing whatsoever to do with the referee wanting to ‘kick him out of the game’.

Two 'friendlies', two mass confrontations

Sign at Sunday's game: "Be fair to your opponent - be fair to the ref." LOL! 

Games 38-41, 2021-22

Remember last week when I asked if there was a change in the air, just because a couple of coaches expressly thanked me for turning up? What an idiot.

Let's cut straight to game 41, between two men's Level 9 teams. Even for a partially deaf man who has left his hearing aids in the changing room because of the heavy rain, the away team is jarringly loud throughout the first half. Their coach does not for a single second desist from bellowing. The players themselves mainly yell at each other (or back at the coach), occasionally at the home team (when fouled), and on one occasion at me (yellow card. Or is it the yeller card? Boom-tish). Eventually, the captain appeals to his team, "Can we all stop yelling at each other? Let's be positive! Why can't any of you actually enjoy playing football?" I offer him a short gesture of applause, but his team-mates completely ignore him.

Before the game, we stood for a minute's silence at the request of the away team on account of a bereavement. Sixty seconds to reflect upon our mortality, and to appreciate the privilege of still being alive and fit enough to be part of the game. To place a Sunday afternoon sporting event into its true perspective. To consider that we might enjoy playing football, to cite the desperate appeal from the away team's captain. How fondly I look back at this quiet moment over the next 89 minutes.

The time is perfect for radical reform

Games 34-37, 2021-22

Is change in the air? Coaches keep thanking me for showing up to referee their games. On Saturday, one coach was particularly grateful that I'd turned out "in this awful weather". Several spectators have been thanking me too. It makes me wonder if the state FA has issued a circular to all its clubs during the winter break, reminding them of the referee shortage and asking them to be extra nice. Nothing wrong with that, though such reminders don't tend to have much stamina.

Meanwhile, myself and four fellow referees took the time off during the winter break to take stock and draft our manifesto. The response from our referees' association was nothing but positive, and genuinely enthusiastic that we cared enough to go to so much effort. Outlining concrete proposals, rather than just moaning, has turned out to be the best approach. Not all these ideas fall under our refereeing body's remit, but the idea is to fire up a discussion and have them put their own modified list of suggestions to the state FA. Much of our focus is on the role of youth team coaches, because that's where the problems begin - the consequence of bad education. Here's a summary of the main points:

- an intensive campaign to protect all young and newly qualified referees from abuse, inspired by the Worcestershire FA's #seemysocks initiative. Goal: to improve awareness among clubs, and to improve long term coaching and mentoring of young refs

- transparency throughout the disciplinary process so that referees know poor and disgraceful conduct has been duly punished

My tipping point, and a call for positive action to protect amateur referees

Game 33, 2021-22

For five and a half seasons this blog has been documenting abusive, insulting and disrespectful behaviour in and around the city where it referees amateur and youth football. At some point, though, merely describing what's going on - and it's not just in my games, it's universal - is insufficient. The time has conclusively come to take a stance. 

Myself and a small group of local referees are working on a list of demands and proposed actions to try and tackle the endemic problems in amateur football that have escalated to the point where every weekend brings some form of trouble, even in the quietest games. What can be done to curb the dissent, the tantrums, the threats and the all-round prevalence of unpleasant attitude and total lack of sporting enjoyment? One thing is clear - posters saying 'Respect!' and 'Thanks, ref!' are not doing the job, whatever their grandiose, committee-endorsed intentions.

After dozens of negative and hair-raising experiences, my personal tipping point came a week ago. A month back, I'd refereed a boys' U17 match which ended with a number of players on the losing team insulting me and screaming at me after the final whistle. I walked through the cacophony without reacting, but noted the numbers of the players and duly wrote up a disciplinary report that same Saturday evening when I would rather have been doing something more relaxing (they have to be submitted "within 24 hours" of the final whistle). As usual, I heard nothing back. The team in question didn't play for another three weeks. But when they did play, all three players that I'd named in the disciplinary report were in the starting line-up. There had been no punishments at all for 16-year-olds screaming indiscriminately at a referee, frustrated at their loss in a game they'd expected to win (with no intervention from their coach - a fellow referee, by the way).

Even on quiet days, negativity's the norm

Games 31-32, 2021-22

A few weeks back I wrote about a generally toxic boys' U19 game where the home team passed up the chance to be good sports by admitting that a goal scored by their opponents had actually gone in (but back out through a hole in the net). Later, one of their players received a straight red card for violent conduct. It was the team's last game. They withdrew from that league a week later and all their results were annulled.

It was no surprise. The trainers seemed indifferent to the team they were coaching, and that was reflected in the players' attitude. Numerous U19 teams drop out in the course of any given season because there's not much more to play for - no more promotions to a higher level, for example. Even the most deluded players have realised by now that they're not going to play at a professional or even semi-pro level, while the distractions of exams, relationships and the imminent prospect of possibly leaving home and starting a new life all mean that football is pushed down their priority list. Why bother showing up for another six months in a losing team with no sense of spirit or togetherness when you can quit now and enjoy a few extra free Saturdays...

The Art of Instant Conflict Management - one ref's approach

Game 30, 2021-22

An elderly spectator comes up to me at half-time as I'm on my way to the dressing room. That's not always a good thing, and after today's testy first 45 minutes I'm expecting a strong opinion - there have been two penalties for handball offences, four yellow cards, and a time penalty for a player on the home team, during which the away team took advantage of its extra man to equalise. Score: 2-2. But the gentleman only has encouraging words: "When you took the two players off to one side there for a talk, that was great - well done."

He's referring to a typical scene that seems to play out now in every game, regardless of level or age group (with the exception of the U11/U12 games I recently reffed). Two players go for the ball, one of them commits a foul, the other has something to say about it, the fouler makes a comment back, and then they're both squaring up and pushing each other in the chest. WHO FACKIN' WANTS SOME???? And then comes the bandy-legged old ref with his whistle, ordering them both off to one side and on to the naughty step. I want them to feel like this is a visit to the headmaster's office. The good thing is that my speech is so well honed by now that I don't even need to think about it.

The first task, though, is to get one or both of them to shut up. Just like in the school yard, they want to let you know that it's the other guy's fault. "Ref, he said, he did blah blah blah." I interrupt this infantile babble with, "Quiet, I'm the only one talking here!" Then off I go: "Are you both off your heads?" (I like to act a little outraged, like this is the first - rather than the 500th. - time I've seen such a scene on a football field.) "You realise this is a football match, right? So make a decision, do you want to stay on here and play football, or do you want to act like idiots? If it's the latter, you can get on with your moronic macho posturing in the club-house for all I care. On here, we're playing football." By now, both players should be nodding. I stop talking, whip the yellow card out of my left pocket, and raise it twice as the concluding choreography to my short one-act play.

The amateur ref's version of VAR

Games 27-29, 2021-22

Although I despise the Video-Assistant Referee (VAR) when it cancels out goals for fractional offsides not visible to the human eye, I'm a big fan of it in certain situations of clear injustice. This is especially applicable to penalties, which are in any case inherently unjust - an innocuous foul close to the edge of the penalty area doesn't deserve the same punishment as a deliberate handball on the goal-line (but that's an argument for another day). When a game-changing decision is reversed thanks to close-up proof of an ankle-tap or a dive, then it's certainly to the benefit of football, and serves to smother at least some of the toxic anger aimed at referees for controversial calls.

Of course, amateur referees have no VAR, as we'll often sardonically point out to players in the thralls of protest and gesticulation. Sometimes, though, we have other clues and pointers when we're uncertain. On throw-ins and corner-kicks, for example, when two players have challenged for the ball and you're unsure who touched it last, you can often tell from the players' body language which way to point. If the attacker runs off to retrieve the ball and the defender runs back to the six-yard box to defend the corner-kick, then you know for sure they were the last player to touch the ball. (But if they both yell, "Corner!/Goal kick!" at the same time, then you just have to make a wild guess, while looking bold and full of conviction.)

Anyway, in the second half of a level 8 men's game, with the hosts leading 2-0, I'm caught out of position by a long punt that launches a swift counter-attack by the home team. As two players challenge for an aerial ball on the edge of the away team's penalty area (I'm probably just over the halfway line by now), the defender climbs all over the forward's back and flattens him. It's such a clear foul that the defender and forward are both laughing as they help each other back up. The question, though - was it in the area or out? Quite simply, I'm too far off the play to see for sure, but my initial reaction is to whistle and point to the penalty spot...

Another fraught episode of the Refereeing Reality Show

Games 23-26, 2021-22

Some weekends I feel like I'm living in a referee's version of The Truman Show, and that the games I'm assigned are merely staged to provoke drama for the sake of my viewing figures and the delight of a sofa-based audience high on popcorn and catastrophe. I already knew before Sunday's game (26) - a Level 8 local diaspora derby between two clubs not known for taking a placid approach to sport - that it would be a tough afternoon. Even with all my experience of football in this city, though, I wasn't expecting enough material for a five-act play. A sole blog entry can barely do this game justice. I'll try to stick to the highlights.

1. The Suspended Player. The away team's side includes a player (the number 3) I red-carded back in August. One of the team officials recognises me before the match, and while we chat I ask him how long the player was suspended for. Six weeks, he replies, and the club only let him return after that because he'd begged them and pleaded for mercy - this red card hadn't been his first. "He's a good player but has absolutely no mental control," is the club official's assessment. Curiously, just before kick-off, another of the away team's officials asks me if I can make the player's name 'non-public' in the match report. Why? "He just doesn't want his name out there." Hmmm, okay.

2. The Brothers. There's a brother on each team, and this is the first time they've ever played against each other. "I promised our mum I would take him out with a wild tackle - just once," the older one says. "He needs taking down a peg or two." All in jest, of course. But just to be on the safe side I say, "Of course you can, as long as you don't mind taking the yellow card that comes with it." A very 'ref' thing to say - I'm great fun at parties, honest. 

3. The Crowd. There are over 300 spectators in the small ground. It's the same place where I reffed The Game From Hell. It's also the place where I oversaw the expulsion of several spectators a few years back during a reserve team game, for anti-Semitic abuse aimed at the city's only Jewish team. It's compulsory for clubs to designate two stewards in yellow jackets to keep order. Today there are five.

4. The Opening Minute. The home team's number 7 scores within seconds of the start, but he's offside. There's no dispute about the decision, but he immediately gets into a verbal and physical confrontation with his direct opponent, who is... the number 3 (see above). "Is there a problem here already?" I ask. Instead of shaking hands and assuring me there's not, they keep arguing. I show them both yellow cards. The game is 40 seconds old...

"I'm a ref too!" Not today, coach. Plus: foul mouths, foul play, foul weather

Games 20-22, 2021-22

A lot of tales to get through, so we'll take it match by match:

Game 20: Boys U11 cup. At half-time the home team's coach tries to pull rank on me. "I referee at [such and such] level, and that was a clear penalty we should have had." For the record, it wasn't a penalty, I was two yards away from it. Much more importantly, don't pull that 'I'm a referee too' shit when you're coaching, except to offer support. Tonight you're the coach, I'm the ref. (A colleague later looks him up online - he refs no higher than kids' soccer, so he's a liar as well as a... whatever you classify people as who pull rank in a patronising manner.)

He could do with paying more attention to his coaching. Twice I have 10-year-olds from his team insolently disputing decisions, and his goalkeeper kicks the ball away to waste time. The disease of dissent is seeping down the age groups, but there are no cards at this level so I'm left with three short, stern lectures. But those lectures need to be coming from the coach, not me. From the opponents, though, a kid comes up to me and says very humbly, "I think you may have made a mistake on that corner kick." And, very politely, I explain back that due to the nature of the deflection, I did not. Cute.

Final score: 2-2 (5-6 after penalties - the time-wasting by the keeper didn't work, his team conceded a late equaliser. Football crime doesn't pay, kids!)

Game 21: Boys U19 on a notoriously filthy field that's already hosted a game today, so it's bumpy, muddy and slippery. Best just to cut straight to the disciplinary report...

The perpetual question for amateur referees: "Why the fuck do I bother?"

Games 18-19, 2021-22

Lock him up.

Imagine you're reading a book, sitting peacefully on a bench by a quiet river on a still afternoon, when someone stops in front of you and starts to yell in your face, "Ian McEwan? IAN FUCKING MCEWAN? What are you reading that shit for, you idiot - you should be reading David Keenan's This Is Memorial Device!" Or you're hiking the Pennine Way from Steel Rig to Bellingham when another walker stops you and screams, "You didn't take the detour for the view from Cuddy Crags, and to look at the excavated Roman fort at Housesteads? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?"

I'm just trying to think of another hobby apart from refereeing where you'd have to put up with a similar level of loud verbal abuse. Just recently I'd had a run of games which - while they were not exactly peaceful- were definitely under control, and I was really starting to enjoy football again. Then came a match last Thursday night that set me back and left me feeling crushed. As I wrote in a somewhat tired and frustrated state after the game on Twitter: "An absolutely miserable men's game tonight - fouling, moaning about every decision, diving, players squaring up, spurious offside appeals. Back to the basic question: why the fuck do I bother?" 

The tweet has had an unprecedented 57 'likes' (roughly ten times my average), which suggests that it resonated among fellow refs. I'd just come off filing the statutory match report (goal scorers, substitutions, cautions etc.), but had opted against a disciplinary report because I was mentally exhausted. But there's also a section in the report for 'Particular Incidents'. We've been expressly told not to write about disciplinary matters in this box because it's supposed to be for irregularities with player passes, serious injuries etc., but I was in the mood to vent, so I wrote the following:

"Massive bundle in the 75th. minute...