When there's violence behind your back

Games 11-12, 2018-19

There are 15 minutes to go in a dirty and unpleasant U19 game. I've already shown five yellow cards and delivered several short lectures. The home side's number 6 plays a pass forward, challenged from the front by the away side's left back, the number 4. The two collide, but there's no 'after-foul', so I quickly follow the path of the ball. It's been received and controlled by the home player's team-mate when I hear cries of outrage and look back to see the number 6 and 4 squaring up and pushing each other in the chest.

"Ref, ref, he said/did this or that!"

I don't know exactly what happened, because I barely saw it out of the corner of my eye. I'm told by several home players that the away defender, number 4, kicked out at the number 6. If that was the case, and if I'd seen it, then obviously it was a straight red card. Unfortunately, I didn't see it. After I've separated the two, and listened to them both complain loudly about the other, I can only give number 4 a yellow for unsporting behaviour (pushing his opponent in the chest). I explain to the number 6 that my eyes were already on the next passage of play, so I can not punish what I didn't see. Even if I can tell from the players' reactions what almost certainly did happen.

The home coaches ask after the game how that wasn't a red card, and accept my explanation. They're nice blokes, and they agree with me that, for a friendly, it was a hostile, ugly game. They play in a league below their opponents. "They came here expecting an easy game and got mad because we went 2-0 up after five minutes," goes their explanation. Though there was plenty of foul play from both sides - four of the yellows went to the home team.

So, yet another frustrating incident when a linesman would have been a huge help. Yet another example of not being able to see in several directions at once. Yet another game where I bore the brunt of complaints from both teams that the other side were not being punished enough. And again I ride home with the thermometer reading -3, wondering why the hell I bother with these arseholes for €14.

The following evening I ref a men's game at a club I know and like. The home team is a couple of leagues above my normal level, but I'm qualified to ref them when they play friendlies or in the city cup. Both they and their opponents, from a lower league, are top of their respective Fair Play tables. 

Ultra-rare shot of a ref
 actually enjoying a game

The home team dominate, predictably, playing some really superb football. The away team is not bad in flashes as well. Best of all, though - not a single player moans about a single decision all night. Not once. It's below freezing again, but I catch myself thinking, "I'm actually enjoying this game." No hassle, no cards, few intentional fouls, and an undisputed penalty. Even when they're getting hammered, the away side continues trying to play its passing game. Even when they appeal for offside on at least three goals against them, they don't yell at me for declining their appeal.

Can I ref you every week? It tends to confirm the thinking that the higher up the pyramid you go, the more pleasurable it can be to referee. Of course, this is a friendly, and these teams are clearly well coached to behave themselves. But in the butt-end leagues I'm normally assigned to, you rarely get a game even close to this level of decent conduct.

Including subs, there are 36 players involved, plus the four coaches. Forty grown men behaved themselves impeccably for 90 minutes in a competitive, physical sporting encounter. It can be done. Easily. I just hope they didn't notice how pathetically grateful I was. 

Game 11: 2-2 (6 x yellow) 

Game 12: 11-1 (no cards)

Click here to order Reffing Hell: Stuck In The Middle Of A Game Gone Wrong by Ian Plenderleith (Halcyon Publishing), published on August 8, 2022.