Monday 25 March 2019

Playing along with Archie of the Arseholes

Game 19, 2018-19

Another Sunday, and another afternoon in the reserve leagues choking on dregs from the bottom of the sporting barrel. I look at the 'Fair Play' table. Out of 15 teams in the division, these two are 13th and 14th, with 15 red cards between them. When my phone goes two hours before kick-off, I'm hoping it's to tell me that the game's called off. Instead it's my niece asking me if we want to hang out and play board games. Sounds like fun. Sorry, I can't make it.

Saner games for Sunday afternoons.
I know the captain of the away team. He's a fellow ref and we get on, so I appeal to him to ask his team to keep it sane. I make the same appeal to both teams as we line up to enter the field. The same old speech about me only having two eyes and no assistants. About not screaming at me every time I whistle for offside. About how we should play in a fair and sporting fashion and actually try to enjoy the game. They all applaud. Sounds like fun. So happy I could make it.

My speech is quickly forgotten by the home team. It's the offside calls that get them going...Want to read more? Click here to order Reffing Hell: Stuck In The Middle Of A Game Gone Wrong by Ian Plenderleith (Halcyon Publishing), published on August 8, 2022. 

1 comment:

  1. The home team's game this past weekend was abandoned after 75 minutes, right after they received two red cards. I don't know the exact circumstances, but I can well imagine how it played out - two dismissals, then they probably all surrounded him, freaked out, and so he called it a day. Good on him, and I hope he escaped intact.

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