Another youth team coach sees red - at some point this has got to stop

Game 16, 2020-21

Boys U19, city cup, quarter-final. It's as fast and physical as you'd expect, but a good game. I'm enjoying it, until the home bench starts up, shouting about every tiny decision. I raise my fingers to my lips to make it clear that I would like them to pipe down - their conduct is completely out of place. The players are not fouling much, and not complaining at all. Things, though, escalate. Once again, I'm just going to translate the (redacted) disciplinary report, which not only describes the behaviour of the home coaches, but explicitly asks when the state FA is finally going to fucking well do something about it:

"In the 34th minute there was another loud protest from the two home coaches Rxxxx and Pxxxx after one of their players was called offside. The incident was down the left touchline, on the same side of the field as the coaching benches, at least 40 yards ahead of the home bench - from their position it would actually have been physically impossible for the coaches to have accurately determined that their own player was clearly offside when the ball was played to him. From the players themselves there were no protests.

"As the unnecessary protests continued I walked over to the home bench and said in a calm but firm manner, 'Please, stay calm over here so that it stays calm on the field.' Head coach Rxxxx responded in a harsh tone, 'Oh, I should spend the rest of the game with my mouth sewn up, or what?' [Yes! - sporting conduct Ed.] I ignored this remark on the grounds that there was no point in starting a stupid discussion, but then the coach yelled at me again regarding the offside call, so I showed him the yellow card for irresponsible behaviour...

Want to read more? Click here to order Reffing Hell: Stuck In The Middle Of A Game Gone Wrong by Ian Plenderleith (Halcyon Publishing), published on August 8, 2022.