Having less than a second to make a call on "Handball!"

Game 24, 2018-19

It's 0-2 with half time approaching, but the home team is on the attack. Their central midfielder takes a shot from around five yards outside the penalty area. It strikes the away team's central defender on the arm, which is in front of his body in a defensive, self-protective position. The defender is standing just inside the penalty area. The home team and all their followers scream "Handball!"

Model sportsman Franck Ribéry
 has spotted an infringement 

This is a direct result of the professional game's Video Assistant Referee. Of course, there have always been loud and righteous cries for 'Handball!' whenever the ball strikes a player's arm or hand, no matter from what distance or in what part of the field. But the calls have become markedly louder and more urgent in the past couple of years since VAR entered our lives. That's because slow-motion replays, examined several times with forensic keenness, have lead to many more decisions in favour of the attacking side. Many of these calls have been dubious at best, typified by Manchester United's spot-kick in the final minute of their Champions league last-16 game at Paris St. Germain, plus numerous bizarre VAR penalty awards for handball in the Bundesliga.

A magnificent night, despite the teeming rain

Game 23, 2018-19

Last night's game is a girls' U15 Regional Cup semi-final, played by floodlight beneath an unrelenting rain. A 0-0 draw that goes to extra time and penalties. A crowd of around 80 look on, hunched under glistering brollies as the clouds unleash their loads without mercy for those of us on the ground wearing shorts and nothing to protect our heads.

Both the players and the coaches allow me to focus fully on what's important - the run of play. Almost every foul is followed by a handshake and a hand to help an opponent stand back up. The only slight whine all evening is on a decision I definitely get wrong - two opposing players go in simultaneously studs up for the ball near the halfway line and connect. I instinctively whistle, then hesitate before pointing my arm randomly in one direction, when I should have given a drop ball (or just let play continue - there's no injury). I'm relieved when nothing comes of the free kick.

There's also one major roar of disapproval from half the crowd...

Refereeing the perfect team - from Japan

Games 20-22, 2018-19

A couple of years back I refereed two games in one weekend involving ethnically based teams from the following four countries: Greece, Morocco, Bosnia-Herzegovina and Korea. Ever since, I've enjoyed asking family and friends, "Which team do you think gave me the most hassle?" And every single person gives the Korean team as their final answer after exhausting any combination of the first three. All wrong. It was the Koreans who picked up more cautions than the other three teams combined. Wahay - our ethnic and cultural pre-conceptions take another kick in the nuts.

So, to a three-game weekend: on Friday night I referee a friendly between one of the city's top U19 clubs and a touring team from Nagoya High School in Japan. I'm intrigued to see how the teams shape up not just in football terms, but in how they respond to my calls. Another test of the cultural archetype.

I heart Nagoya

The Japanese team come bearing gifts. Not just for the home players, but also for the referee. I've never received anything other than a post-match Wurst and a €2 tip when no one's got any change, so in comparison this feels like the big time. Like when teams used to exchange pennants, medallions and memorabilia and all that 70s stuff. So I now own a pin badge marking 130 years since Nagoya was declared a city (I think). 

The lavish gift doesn't influence me in thinking that the Nagoya team is impeccable in every way...