Games go well when coaches know discipline

Games 5-6, 2022-23

It's still hot, so we're having a drinks break, 23 minutes in. The score's 0-0 in the first Level 9 league game of the season. I walk over to a bucket of water by the touchline to cool myself off. Three elderly gentlemen are sitting on a bench behind the barrier.

"Just thought you should know," one of them says. "But our number 7 wasn't offside."

"Thanks for the tip."

"You're welcome."

(Holding up the whistle) "Do you fancy a go with this? Then I can come and sit in the shade for the rest of the afternoon?"

They know the rules (photo: imb)

We will never know for sure whether the number 7 was offside or not, but the player's opinion of my decision will be always marked in the record books by a yellow card for dissent. It's an early one (15 minutes on the clock), and no one on his team yells at me after that. The guests have their own moaner, the number 14 midfielder, and he gets an entry in my note-book just before half-time. If all the first half energy from players sounding off at their team-mates was converted into football skill, we'd be witnessing a classic. As it is, we go into the break goalless, having heard and seen nothing but vented fury and wayward balls.

Drinks break, second half. The home team is by now 2-0 up. I walk over to the same bucket and ask the three wise men if they've seen any more refereeing errors. 

"Not really," says my critic. "You could maybe have shown another yellow card or two. Other than that, you're doing alright."

Thank goodness. Then the away team's designated linesmen, so far conspicuous by his indolence, comes running up to me. Wasn't I the ref that gave the last-minute penalty against his team in the 5-4 ding-dong game last season? I'm not sure, I respond, waiting to see what comes next, but he just bursts out laughing. "Come on, it was you!" he jibes, and I agree that I too have not forgotten that particular game (and have talked about it several times since). At least he's not still mad about it. I once met an Everton fan in a pub in London in the late 1980s on the verge of tears talking about a decision Clive Thomas had given against his team well over a decade earlier.

After the game, the away team's club officials thank me, even though they've conceded five again, this time without reply. Following relegation last season, they lost 15 players and have had to scrap their reserves. "It's always the same problem," says one of their reps. "Discipline. Getting them to come to training. Being on time. Behaving on the pitch." 

In a U19 boys' game the evening before, the away team coach has a strong grip on that. His number 10 loses his rag with an opponent after getting fouled, and before I have to deal with the situation myself, his coach offers loud instructions from the touchline on why he should calm down straightaway. Five minutes before the end, there's a similar situation with the same player, and this time the coach orders him to the bench and doesn't even send in a sub. The player lopes off, almost tripping over his bottom lip.

True, it's only a friendly, and the away team has a two-goal cushion, but it's nonetheless a model example of how to deal with undisciplined players. Coaches: don't leave it to the referee, take charge yourselves - firmly, but without an excess of drama.

In fact all four benches this weekend are a pleasure to deal with. There was not a bellow or even a squeak of protest within my hearing range, and all focused on their teams. All offered a smile and a handshake and a thank you after the final whistle. Is it partly because, as mooted in our Manifesto last season, the state has made coaching passes obligatory this season? It's too soon to connect one with the other based on my meagre anecdotal evidence, but the coaches' excellent conduct during both games was a major factor in making refereeing the kind of pleasure it should be every single weekend. 

Game 5: 0-2 (2 x yellow)
Game 6: 5-0 (3 x yellow)

My book Reffing Hell: Stuck in the Middle of a Game Gone Wrong is published today by Halcyon Publishing. Please buy a copy if you would like to support this blog and independent publishing.