Games 7-8, 2019-20
"This isn't a football game any more," states the home team's captain as he leaves the field. I've just shown him his second yellow card after he pulled back and brought down the away team's swift outside right as he hares towards the penalty area. The score is 0-4. Five minutes earlier I'd shown him his first yellow for his sullen, sarcastic query of, "Are we not playing offside today?" after the away team's fourth goal.
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| What now? Hungry? Lost dummy? Or just another scandalous offside call? |
No, it's not a game of football any more. It's a forum for petulant whiners. It's a maelstrom of bleating, skill-deprived tossers in acrylic uniforms. It's a platform for snorting, righteous, hot-eyed wankers viewing every call against them as a heinous affront to their dignity as human beings. This has nothing to do with a football game. Especially not among the home team, most of whom are shit (five minutes in, I predict a scoreline of 0-4).
Both teams are at it, though. All afternoon. Every foul called is not a foul. Every foul not called is, by contrast, a foul. Every offside decision called is not offside. Every call of 'play on' after an offside appeal is - you've guessed it - horrifically erroneous too. Of course it's offside. Four slow, stubby and rubicund defenders are screaming that it's offside, so it must have been...
Want to read more? Click here to order Reffing Hell: Stuck In The Middle Of A Game Gone Wrong by Ian Plenderleith (Halcyon Publishing), published on August 8, 2022.
Reminds me of my first match last Saturday. A player had been upset with me all game. I cautioned him for dissent -- should have dismissed him for the language used but it was a charity match so it seemed a bit harsh.
ReplyDeleteAfter the match he complains that I really need to care better for the players as he was getting fouled off the ball, and he has to return to work on Monday.
I was struck by his comments. It was a charity match, on a horrible pitch, and I'm the sole referee (no assistants) and he's worried about fouls "off the ball". I'm worried about turning my ankle during the match. I'm worried about trying to see the play all the time given the lack of assistants. And yet he's complaining that I didn't see fouls off the ball (by players who quite frankly weren't skilled enough to commit a tactical foul).
Hopefully I can return to my position as an Assistant Referee soon in games like this. While I love being an official, it just isn't worth it to be in the middle some days.
That's often part of my short pre-game speech - "You are 22 players, I only have two eyes." But you're still expected to see everything, including stuff that happens behind your back. Got that a lot in Saturday's Game 7 - boys U17, where one or the other is constantly complaining, "The number 4 just pushed me and called me this and that." While you were following play up to the other end of the pitch. You want linesmen? Work on your game and play in a better league.
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