"You wanted that, didn't you? You wanted that!"

Games 9-10, 2019-20

Coming soon to my city -
XXX-rated football

There's a new under-class in the city's football scene. Sensing that there's room to sink even further, a new City League C was created out of the bottom-feeders of last season's B divisions. At some point, I'm fully expecting us to plummet all the way to Z, barely pausing for breath at X, XX and triple X on the cascade downwards.

After 40 minutes of Class C sport, I stop the game and tell both captains to huddle with their teams and tell them: "Either you quit fouling and fighting, or I'll call the game off and recommend that both sides face lengthy bans." We've just seen the game's fifth and sixth yellow cards after a second mass confrontation. For once it's not me, they just seem to hate each other.

The home team's been banned before, so they in particular take notice. At half-time I chat with their trainer on our way to the locker room, and he promises that he will make clear to his players the need for discipline...

Want to read more? Click here to order Reffing Hell: Stuck In The Middle Of A Game Gone Wrong by Ian Plenderleith (Halcyon Publishing), published on August 8, 2022.