Grown-ups in a mass brawl - thanks for setting an example, dear parents

Game 7, 2018-19

I'm back at the club whose name translates as 'Friends of Sport', where in almost four years I've never yet had a sporting or a friendly experience. Where to begin? It was a boys U17 game, with around 30-40 spectators. I'm just going to translate a truncated version of my disciplinary report, seeing as it took me half of Saturday evening to write. 

He's got something to say,
and he's gonna say it...

"The first half was played in a fair and peaceful atmosphere, but all this changed in the last 20 minutes of the game when both sides - with the score at 2-2 - sensed that they had a good chance to win. In this increasingly hectic and niggly phase of the game there were six yellow cards and a time penalty due to reckless fouls, unsportsmanlike conduct, and dissent.

"The coaches remained quiet almost until the final whistle, and indeed from my point of view there had been no controversial decisions. Then, in the 79th. minute [of an 80-minute game], there was a reckless foul by the away team's number 23 against the home team's number 7 right in front of the away bench. The number 23 received a yellow card for the foul...

10 things amateur referees hate to see or hear

Games 5-6, 2018-19

What are the 10 things I least want to see or hear when I'm refereeing a game of football?

1. The shout for "Offside!" almost every single time a forward is through alone on goal. It comes from the defenders, it comes from the coaches, it comes from the spectators - a one-word vocal plague of ignorance upon the amateur game. During Saturday's game, a goalkeeper saved a free-kick and then complained that the player who followed it up to score was offside. How did he see that when he was saving the kick? He went on about it so much (and I tried to ignore him, but he ran after me almost all the way to the half-way line screaming, "Offside! Offside!") that he ended up with a yellow card.

2. "You have to call fouls against both teams!" This usually comes from a losing coach or one of his players. Oh, really? I thought I was just supposed to call fouls against your team as a heaven-ordained test of your patience...

Praise from the touchline - for my footwear

Games 3-4, 2018-19

After a long period out injured, you tend to lose a grip on your confidence. What if I’ve forgotten how to ref? It’s not that you can no longer remember the Laws of the Game, but you worry that you might have lost the feel for officiating. When players pick up on a referee with a confidence problem, they will not hesitate to exploit their mental frailty.

"I am not Dr. Brych, I am a human being."

So I precede Sunday’s game in the Men’s Punishment League (see blog entries passim) with a new, truncated version of my pre-match speech, delivered in a 'we're all in this shit league together' tone: “Lads, my name is not Dr. Felix Brych. I’m not here today to be yelled at and moaned at. I don’t have linesmen, and I don’t have a video ref. So especially on close offside decisions, save your breath. I want you to enjoy the game, but I want to enjoy it too. Best of luck.”

There’s always a share of players smiling when I try this ‘Referees are human too’ approach...