Frankly, my dear, I’ve had enough of your effing „emotions“

Game 23, 2019-20

The home team’s coach has been trying to get my attention to make a substitution, but there’s a lot going on so I haven’t noticed. When I see him waving his arms at me and yelling, I signal for him that it’s okay to make the substitution. „I’ve been standing here for two minutes trying to get your attention,“ he screams. I don’t like his tone, so I walk over to ask him to calm down. He continues to yell, so I show him the yellow card. Then he starts to yell about the yellow card.

I could show him a red now, but instead I fight back. „I couldn’t hear you because there are 22 players out there all yelling at the same time - perhaps you should yell at them to shut the fuck up. I come all the way out here to ref your game for my shite 22 Euros, and you expect me to put up with you screaming at me?“ He claims now that he wasn’t screaming, he just wanted to get my attention. You were screaming, I counter, and you were completely lacking respect. HIs assistant coach chimes in with, „He’s right, you know.“ Which for once is a very welcome intervention...

Why amateur refs are quitting in huge numbers

Game 22, 2019-20

The weekend before last, just south of the city where I ref, a 22-year-old referee was knocked unconscious by a player who'd just received a red card in a Level 11 game (see right). The referee had to be air-lifted to hospital. Thankfully, he recovered physically, but it made the national news and - as always when an incident like this happens - caused a lot of (temporary) agonising in the media and the football community about the way that referees are treated. Again and again I heard this figure quoted - over the past few years the number of registered referees in Germany has gone down from around 80,000 to 58,000. That's a massive and significant drop in numbers. There have been similar worries in the UK about the decline in the number of officials, and it's all for the same reason - who in his or her right fucking mind would want to spend their free time refereeing amateur football games in the current climate of General Anger About Everything?

I don't quote this exact statistic while shouting at the home team coach and the players of both teams in general during last night's Level 10 men's game. But I do forcefully make the point that "soon there'll be no one to referee your shitty games because we've all had enough of your shit behaviour, so shut your mouths and get on with the game, for Christ's sake." Still mad, I break into English: "You're acting like a bunch of fucking wankers..."

A very early yellow, and disallowing a beautiful goal

Games 20-21, 2019-20

I look at my watch - we've played 45 seconds of this boys' U19 game, and I've already shown the first caution. The away team's number 10 barrelled in to a challenge with no intent to play the ball, and every intent of sending the home team a signal. His opponent goes flying. Number 10 gets a bright yellow signal in return, along with a roar from my mouth that this is not how things are going to play out this afternoon. The home team's captain, shaping up to take the free-kick, whispers, "Thank you."

Lightning quick yellow...

My dad always used to say to me, "Make sure your first challenge counts. Go in hard so your opponent knows you're there and that you're serious." These were wasted words on me, unfortunately - as a lad I was built like a beanpole and tackling wasn't the strongest point of my game (my team-mates at the time said it wasn't part of my game at all). I wonder if the number 10 has a dad who offers him similar advice. He looks momentarily amazed that I've shown him a card so early on in the game, but then accepts it without any complaint...

Big decision time - does this game really need a red card?

Games 18-19, 2019-20

Small-town home field
(pic: RT)

The away team's number eight, a midfielder, goes in way too hard and late on an opponent, about 40 yards from the home team's goal. It's a foul, no one's going to dispute that. The 100 or so home fans dutifully roar in outrage at the challenge, while the fouled player go downs with a cry and clutches his thigh. Part of me thinks it should be a straight red. Another part of me instantly counters that a red card would be too harsh.

At moments like this, in the few short seconds I have to make the decision, I try to take into account the temperature of the game. The home team is second from the bottom, the away team is second from the top. The score is 1-1 and there are 15 minutes to play. It's been an intense, hard-fought game, with lots of shouting and what we are now obliged to call "emotion" (but which I'd more often than not classify as hot-headed stupidity). The underdogs have come back strongly in the second half after going in at the break 0-1 down...